So what’s happening out there today that everybody’s getting their knickers all bunched up about?

And please God don’t tell me it’s more flaming EU in-y or out-y stuff coz I don’t think I can cope. Unless the news is that we miraculously became great again overnight I don’t wanna hear any more about it.

And the thing that really annoys me about it all is this new vocabulary it’s brought about – it’s doing my nut in.

It’s as if you can make any word up you like these days, like, you can literally stick ANY parts of ANY words together today and then everybody’s using it tomorrow. It’s like everybody suddenly became a headline writer for The Sun.

The gammoning and the remoaning and the mansplaining and the beleaving and the snowflaking. It’s not even clever, or funny, because if it was then I’d be doing it meself. But I’m not. Coz it isn’t. It’s just playground bullying but for people who are supposed to be grown-ups and above all that.

A teeny tiny part of me thinks it’s kinda genius because, I mean, Will Shakespeare made up loads of his own words and idioms that we still use today didn’t he? But oddly enough, somehow I just can’t see white van man Trev Smith from Doncaster being forever revered for his contribution to the English dictionary for his ‘Brexshit’ can you?*

And people think all this whinging and moaning will stop on the 29th of March 2019 at 11pm but it woooooon’t. That’s just when it’ll get even worse.

So please, tell me it’s not that. I can even cope with another Trump story but please, not Brexit eh?
*DISCLAIMER: If there really is a white van man called Trev Smith who lives in Doncaster then this is pure coincidence coz I completely made that up. And soz.

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